Using the Iron Card Fabricator™ is easy as 1, 2, 3! (1) Click a scientist to add ingredients needed for card fabrication. (2) Add three ingredients. (3) Open your card. Disclaimer: Clicking on a given scientist will not always have the same result. Different ingredients will produce different cards. Use of Iron Card Fabricator™ is subject to occasional malfunctions including but not limited to people’s hair being set on fire and people being eaten by machines.
Egg nog: Because ice cream is good. But it’s better when you’re drunk. Share this card on Facebook Share this card on Twitter
The Holiday season is a time to be with family. But many people enjoy it anyway. Share this card on Facebook Share this card on Twitter
Some studies indicate Americans gain as much as five pounds between mid-November & the end of December. In other words: Happy Holidays, Fatty! Share this card on Facebook Share this card on Twitter
Happy Holidays! Prepare to get trampled by a herd of foaming mouthed psychopaths who place less value on your life than an iPad Mini. Share this card on Facebook Share this card on Twitter
Every Christmas, millions of kids ask for ponies. What if this is the year they all get them? After polishing off every last scrap of food, that crazed and ravenous herd will come for us. And you can bet shit is going to get real. We’re just saying. Not a bad idea to be ready. Share this card on Facebook Share this card on Twitter
The Holidays: A truly magical time when the thought of a huge jumpsuit-clad man entering our homes as we sleep brings a smile to our faces when it should scare the crap out of us. Share this card on Facebook Share this card on Twitter
Merry Christmas. That’s right. We said it: “Merry Christmas.” Not “Happy Holidays.” Not “Season’s Greetings.” What are you going to do – call the PC police on us? Go ahead. They won’t answer. They take Christmas off. Just like everybody else. It’s Jesus’ birthday for Christ’s sake. Share this card on Facebook Share this card on Twitter
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